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1970s — Gregg and Michael meet as teen-agers in the Pittsburgh area. They’re in different bands, but Gregg predicts they’ll play together someday.

1983 — Gregg meets people who like similar music while working at Eide’s Entertainment. He recruits them for his band; they practice beneath a Wilkinsburg pizza shop for a year.

1984 — The Cynics debut on July 24, 1984 at The Electric Banana. Gregg thinks the singer isn’t so great. Michael gets asked to join the band — somehow. They were tripping balls, so details are fuzzy.

1986 — Garage rock isn’t very popular (the No. 1 song is “Rock Me Amadeus” by Falco). Gregg starts indie label Get Hip to put out The Cynics’ debut, Blue Train Station.

1989 — The Cynics release Rock ‘n’ Roll. It’s awesome; they get on MTV, which used to play music videos.

1990 — The band tours Europe. Disasters occur; while stranded in Madrid, they record a live album, fittingly titled Stranded in Madrid. While there, Gregg and Barbara meet. She visits Pittsburgh, where Gregg is crashing at his mom’s.

1992 — Barbara moves to Pittsburgh, she and Gregg get married. She works with him at Get Hip, and never takes a different job.

1995 — Michael gets a DUI on New Year’s Eve, is released from jail just in time to go onstage — where he announces it’s his last concert ever.

1995-2000 — Gregg and Michael aren’t friends.

2002 — After making up, Gregg and Michael release Living Is the Best Revenge. It rules hard.

2006 — Michael overcomes computer illiteracy, becoming The Cynics’ social-networking guru. The band connects with a younger, worldwide audience.

2007 — The Cynics release Here We Are. The title track makes you cry, the rest rules hard.

2009 — The 25^th anniversary of The Cynics’ first show. Holy moly.