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It’s the holiday season once again. And during the holidays, there are two types of people: people who love eggnog and those who hate it.

I, myself, am an eggnog fanatic. Each year I bake mini eggnog cheesecakes for my family‘s Christmas cookie table, as well as make eggnog coffee creamer and delicious eggnog pancakes for cold December breakfasts. I love to buy at least 3-4 quarts from Trader Joe’s each year, which may sound like a lot, but my older brother drinks it by the gallon — several in fact — so gulping down a few quarts really isn’t that bad…

For an eggnog fanatic who loves to make all kinds of baked goods with eggnog, it may be surprising that I’ve never made homemade eggnog before. Why make the homemade stuff when one can just buy some pre-made nog from Trader Joe’s?

Giving the gift of a hangover Credit: CP Photo: Stacy Rounds

I discovered after making this recipe from the Three Rivers Cookbook, Vol. 1 (1973) that homemade eggnog is much better than store-bought. The flavor is better and the texture is creamier without being obnoxiously thick, and you can skip the preservatives.

This particular recipe calls for a lot of liquid, so I needed to be sure I had an ample vessel to make it in. After looking carefully at all the ingredients, I measured both my largest mixing bowl and my massive enameled Dutch oven to see which was a good fit. I didn’t want to wind up in a situation where my bowl was overflowing (like when I made Carmi’s Mac and Cheese).

Ingredients for this ultra-boozy eggnog Credit: CP Photo: Stacy Rounds

Neither my largest mixing bowl nor my Dutch oven, which is big enough to boil down two whole rotisserie chickens, were big enough to contain this recipe. I thought, should I use an industrial 5-gallon bucket? Probably not. Another thing I considered was using my 5-gallon stock pot. However, it’s made of aluminum. And with all the dairy and eggs in this recipe, it would be better to blend it all in something non-reactive.

Since I didn’t feel comfortable mixing this up in the same 5-gallon bucket that I haul dirt in, and since I didn’t want to take chances using a reactive pot, I decided the best course of action was to cut the recipe in half. But even half of this recipe is huge, so I decided to measure my largest mixing bowl again, just in case.

Here is the recipe, cut in half to fit in my mixing bowl, with an added ingredient (vanilla):

6 large eggs, separated
1 pt. half and half
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup light cream
1 qt. milk (whole or 2%)
350 ml. rum (optional)*
350 ml. brandy (optional)*
6 oz. bourbon or whiskey (optional)*
1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
nutmeg (optional)
2 tsp. vanilla (optional)

I kept the instructions the same:

Separate eggs and beat whites until stiff. Beat yolks. Fold whites into yolks. Add cream and milk and stir well – do not beat. Add (rum, brandy, whiskey) sugar, nutmeg, and vanilla, and stir well.

Ladle into glass jars for storage.

Keeps a week to 10 days in the refrigerator. Shake well before serving.

Store-bought eggnog is ridiculously thick — not that I mind the thickness. Homemade eggnog has some layers to it, at least when crafting this recipe. I really enjoyed the fluffy layer of foam in this recipe, the balance of flavors, and the consistency throughout.

I enjoyed it, that is, until I added the booze. Oof. It’s so strong, it ought to come with an octane rating.

The original recipe from The Three Rivers Cookbook, Vol. 1 Credit: CP Photo: Stacy Rounds

It’s hard not to notice that the original recipe calls for an exorbitant amount of alcohol (“it is very potent!”). Two fifths plus 12 ounces, to be precise. Added up, that equals nearly half a gallon of spirits (750 mL + 750 mL + 354 mL =1,854 mL = 0.49 US liquid gallon). Half. Gallon. I’m not sure even my Irish relatives can handle that these days. What was happening in the ’70s?!

The finished product: boozy eggnog in extra-large mason jars Credit: CP Photo: Stacy Rounds

I kept the alcohol proportions the same for the half-sized recipe but … just … no. It’s too strong. Although, I’m still giving the jars away for the holidays. Maybe some of my friends want to drink away their woes, and it won’t take much of this high-octane eggnog to do the trick. This stuff could knock out a yeti after two sips.

It may be wise to add half or even just a third of the booze this recipe calls for. Or, if you don’t like to drink hard liquor, you can omit it altogether. This eggnog was absolutely fantastic without it.