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There was a joke that we used to tell about 10 years ago: “If the end of the world happens, I’m glad I’m in Pittsburgh, because we won’t even notice for 10 years.” Well, it’s been a decade or so since then, and it feels like the world has ended several times over. And yet, here we are.
If there’s a part of Pittsburgh that refuses to recognize how the world has changed, it’s the North Side. Not all of it; the flat parts have changed a bit. But the hills and valleys of the North Side are a window into an older, cheaper Pittsburgh, and that’s cool; the last decade’s spiraling prices in most East End neighborhoods are largely absent here.
If the world really did end, and we’re just slow on the uptake, I’m glad to be riding it out here, with you. Though I’d feel a whole lot better if Mister Rogers and George Romero were still here, too.
For sale: 3605 California Ave., Brighton Heights, $169,000.
I’m not going to make any value judgments about one era of housing being better than another. But this 1906 house on the North Side brings to mind the stately elegance and sweet sound of a handmade violin, whereas the average ‘80s house (like the one I grew up in) looks like a dented Super Nintendo, only less fun. If this price looks a little suspect even for this area, well, this is actually just a condo-sized slice of the tall, majestic brick home. Still, the blurb claims it was designed by legendary architect Frederick J. Osterling (Union Trust Building, Frick Art & Historical Center), a name only a step below the big dog, Frank Lloyd Wright, in local significance.
For rent: Heinz Lofts, 300 Heinz St., North Side, $1,425/month.
My grandfather was a blacksmith for Heinz in one of these buildings, and my brother ended up living here when it became one of Pittsburgh earliest (and best) industrial-to-housing conversions. That’s a conversation I wish I could have seen. “You want to live where? In the forge? It’s like 120 degrees in there!” Alas, my grandfather didn’t last long enough to see the old Heinz factory’s new life. My brother did ask the young lady showing the place if you could get a ketchup spigot in the wall, but her response is lost to the ages.
For sale: 2136 Harbor St., Spring Hill, $190,000.
I realize that cold, antiseptic minimalist design is the style that sells nowadays – and even if it’s not your thing, it’s easier to imagine creating what you want from a more-or-less blank slate. But that gets to be boring to look at, so it’s fun to see someone doing the opposite. Here, we’ve got every square inch of wall covered in art, weird carpet, cacti, succulents – and this is just one room. No, this stuff doesn’t come with the house, but other stuff, better stuff (your stuff) does.
For rent: 112 Hemlock St., Central North Side, $1,345/month.
You either love this sort of thing, or you recoil in abject horror (where will people park?). I think you can figure out where I fall on this spectrum. Honestly, I wish there were more places like this for rent, and not for sale for $500,000+. It’s in a walkable neighborhood with a great sense of place and community, close to major job centers and useful public transit (even the “T”). Plus, if you do drive (and, full disclosure, I do), it’s a chance to get the gnarliest, most rugged parking chair you can find from the junkyard and put it to the test!
For sale: 5 Carrie St., Fineview, $120,000.
You know, that really is a fine view. Of course, you could say that about a lot of hilly Pittsburgh neighborhoods, but Fineview got the name. When it was named, you could probably see 10 different shades of soot and toxic smog, but now, that’s a real view. Sure, a view isn’t worth much if you don’t use it. Luckily, this is one stunning, beautiful porch (with a house attached, as a treat). It’s got layers, and levels! Part is covered, part is not, and it’s screened in with a simple wooden structure for hanging baskets of flowers. Maybe I could actually keep flowers alive if I had a place to put them. All that said, the house itself features grubby yellow siding, and the window shapes are small and distributed strangely. Adds to the intrigue, I guess.
For rent: 3245 Rothpletz St., Woods Run, $950/month.
Woods Run? As Pittsburgh-brained as I am, the first thing that name makes me think of is ‘80s Cincinnati running back/battering ram Ickey Woods, whose charmingly stupid name and signature end zone dance made him the rare AFC North rival that Steelers fans respected. I don’t know where you are now, Ickey, but if you ever come back to Pittsburgh, please ignore anything mean I’ve said about you. Oh, and there’s a nice, cheap apartment in a place called Woods Run that might remind you of the good old days (well, someone’s good old days).
This article appears in Nov 27 – Dec 3, 2024.
