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In Pittsburgh, there’s a whole range of “crimes” that can seem a bit opaque and inscrutable to the newcomer, and probably need to be explained.
First, there are grave offences that should never be done by anyone: hitting the brakes in front of a tunnel, purchasing Hunt’s ketchup, moving a parking chair, and so on.
Then there are violations of dubious ethicality, victimless crimes that can be sort-of-excused due to extenuating circumstances: buying black-and-gold gear of dubious authenticity in the Strip, taunting a sacked Ravens quarterback, drunk-riding the Incline, etc.
Then there’s a whole category of PITTSBURGH LAW that isn’t quite settled yet, and we must judge according to each hyper-specific, idiosyncratic instance. That’s where I’m going to put the incident where I told my son that his new school in Garfield was named after the lasagna-loving, Monday-hating cat, his favorite cartoon. And I may have never corrected the record, despite ample opportunity.
Was this wrong?
At any rate, Garfield is a nice East End neighborhood with an abundance of character (even if the local character is technically a Garfield Gator, not a cat), and somewhat affordable homes, at least compared to most neighborhoods nearby.
For sale: 5473 Kincaid St., Garfield, $230,000.
When you think about it, it’s kind of amazing that a house built before most people had even seen an automobile is not only still in good shape, it is still arguably better than the vast majority of what’s come since. This three-bedroom wood-frame home from 1910 was born into a different world, but that seamless transition between indoor and outdoor — a spacious front porch, a back deck — still sets it apart. The interior probably looked way different back then (the fireplace probably worked, for starters), but enough indications of past glories, like those beautiful wood floors, remain.
For rent: 125 Roup Ave., Garfield, $1,195/month.
I’m not going to pretend to have the answers as to why this apartment has heinous ’70s wooden shingles on a random inside wall, but the past really is an unknown country. People used to smoke on airplanes; how do you even explain that? As long as you’re not feeling your way around in the dark too often, it’s probably not a big deal.
For sale: 5491 Penn Ave., Garfield, $245,000-260,000.
When it comes to architecture, I like to pretend I can spot the difference between a rigorous interpretation of modernist form-following-function — and a giant pile of concrete and siding erected on the cheap. But maybe that’s just my imagination, because I remember being pretty impressed with these ultramodern Garfield condos when they were built. Now that the green panels have weathered into two different sickly shades of green, though, I feel a little sheepish. Still, the interiors are bright and clean, and there’s a Primanti Bros. and a very good coffee shop on the ground floor. So, adhering to the basic precepts of good urbanism is still a worthy goal, even when the structure as a whole looks badly dated.
For rent: 5405 Broad St., Garfield, $1,425/month.
There are a whole lot of eccentric design choices here, and that’s OK. I mean, I hope the previous inhabitants took their giant orange shower curtains screening the front porch with them. But it’s nice to have a place seem lived-in, too — where other people were clearly comfortable at some point — when seeking a place of your own. That antique stove is pretty nice, and those aquamarine-painted bookshelves are crying out for, you know, actual books.
For sale: 5025 Rosetta St., Garfield, $219,000.
Though I find living like a hermit in an off-the-grid compound in the Canadian Rockies increasingly attractive by the day, city life will always hold some sway over me. Which is why it’s nice that even in the densely populated East End, there are steep hills, treacherous ravines, and houses tucked away among them, like this one in Garfield. It’s super close to everything, and you can walk to a few dozen great places to eat. But you can also keep climbing the stairs until they disappear into verdant greenery, and never see another soul (except the next-door neighbors) unless you really want to.
For rent: 152 S. Fairmount St., Garfield, $850/month.
When it comes to sub-$1,000 rents nowadays, you can’t be too picky. Does it have the right number of walls (four, hopefully) and a window or two? Well, then, we’re in business. 600 square feet is not a lot of space, but 90 years ago, it probably housed a family of 12, so we can probably make do.
This article appears in Nov 20-26, 2024.
